November 17, 2011, 6:00 am

How You Can Deal With Failure and Bounce Back Higher Than Ever!

by: MD    Category: Business
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Dealing With Failure

We all fail at something at some point. It sucks. I’m not even going to humor you by starting this post off with some lame motivational quote. As much as I love motivational quotes, we all need to be realistic sometimes. Failing sucks. Winning rules!

Two weeks ago I gave a harsh reality check for those that wanted to blog full-time. T

Today we’re going to talk about how you can deal with failure (since I failed with my product launch, remember?) and bounce back higher than ever!

Pamela Slim said it best in Escape From Cubicle Nation:

A lot of our view in of failure in popular American culture is romanticized. The fact is, while you are failing, it feels really awful and does not become the enlightened lesson that you receive until you have some distance between you and the excruciating experience.

Barry Moltz is a bit more emotional in Bounce! Failure, Resiliency, and Confidence to Achieve Your Next Great Success:

Treat all the outcomes you label as “failure” with an open mind and appreciative attitude, and learn from them. When we are finally able to let go, we are ready for the next experience.

You might agree with quote #1 or or #2 more. Regardless of which point you agree with, I wanted to share how you can deal with failure from what I’ve learned from failing a few times.

It doesn’t have to be all or nothing.

Your projects or audacious goals don’t have to be all or nothing. Personally, it’s more fun for me to throw EVERYTHING on the line. This is what I did with my eBook launch. All of my time went towards work involving this project. This ranged from studying psychology to sell the book to reaching out to my friends in the blogging community for feedback. All of my free time and emotions went into this launch.

What I’m getting at is that your goals don’t have to always be all or nothing. For example, if you strive to lose 15lbs and you lose only 5 because you ended up getting more muscular (muscle weighs more than fat), then you didn’t fail. You just reached a different goal. I learned that my eBook launch failed but I know have content at my disposal and I know how to write an eBook and launch it. I just need to learn how to get others to buy some damn copies. You don’t always have to view everything as “all or nothing.” This isn’t some action movie.

There are always lessons learned.

Yes I know. Telling someone that they learned a lesson is lame and much easier when you’re not the one failing. The reality here is that we do learn from everything.

We learn from everything that we do. I’m a huge fan of testing out different techniques. This is how I got better at approaching women at bars to the point that it was no longer fun. You need to try different approaches and strategies to see what works. Looks like I don’t have the audience to support a product. No big deal. Time to move on.

Grow a set and move on.

It’s NEVER worth it to feel sorry for yourself. Screw that! You need to be on top of the world no matter what. I’m guilty of feeling sorry for myself for a few days. Yep it’s embarrassing.

I know too many people that go around feeling sorry for themselves about every little issue. Then there are others that are going through much worse but don’t have time to wallow in self-pity because they’re too damn busy working. You need to grow a set and move on. That’s it.

Don’t stop setting audacious goals.

I don’t set lame goals or take the safe way out. Just because you failed once it doesn’t mean that you have to be afraid of setting huge goals for the future. You need to keep on thinking big and setting ambitious goals. Life’s too short to spend it on shit that doesn’t matter.

You need to fail.

It’s true. We all need to fail. Failing fucking sucks! However, if you’re not failing then you’re not trying hard enough. I could’ve spent October writing about how Bank of America added fees and then took them down (just like every single personal finance blogger did). Instead I chose to write about shit that matters. I want my readers to conquer credit and get out of debt. Other bloggers can keep on writing about fee increases at banks and other boring topics.

At the end of the day, you can easily deal with failure and bounce back higher than ever.

Have you dealt with a failure recently? Please share the experience here.

I wanted to finish off with some theory from Seth Godin on the topic of how successful people fail:

Successful people learn from failure, but the lesson they learn is a different one. They don’t learn that they shouldn’t have tried in the first place, and they don’t learn that they are always right and the world is wrong and they don’t learn that they are losers. They learn that the tactics they used didn’t work or that the person they used them on didn’t respond.

(photo credit: rob boudon)

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If you create an e-book and somebody buys it at some point and is really helped by it, how is that a failure? Sure, you may not have made as much money as you’d hoped, but I believe even financial goals have to go beyond making a buck, esp. when it comes to creative endeavors.

“You need to fail.” Nobody is perfect. Everybody makes mistakes. but more importantly, we learn from the lessons of our failures; otherwise, we will not be able to bounce back up.

I don’t think you need to fail in order to succeed. Whenever I fall short, I learn from the experience. I think I learn whether I succeed or fail.

I am 28 started company at 26 made great money fast for 10 months brought in partial owner and he couldn’t get along with my partner.. Our main client went bankrupt as well.. I….. Failed. On top of that I take depression meds to start.. It’s almost a year and I’m still depressed. At least I am not at the stage of wondering what went wrong now I’m just depressed and want new business to start in a different field.