July 16, 2012, 5:00 am

Lessons in Confidence

by: The Financial Blogger    Category: Miscellaneous
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I’m leaving the world of PF finance & Online Empire for a total different topic today; I want to share with you a lesson in confidence my 7yr old taught me. This post is for you to bookmark if you ever lack in confidence at one point in your life. I’m sure you have and so have I.

 soccer ball

Being a father of three is the most awesome experience I have had in my life. It’s so fulfilling because you grow as your children evolve over time. Each year, each month, each day; they help me to become a better human being. I’ve shared my anxiety towards my new job a few months ago. Since then, it has been going a lot better. In fact, I now enjoy coming to work each morningJ. But my oldest son taught me the ultimate lesson in confidence a week ago.

 

Confidence

 

Being confident is probably the most important trait you can have as a human being. Without confidence, it’s hard to accomplish anything. You doubt, hesitate and most probably will fail. This is why being confident is so important. If you have been following my blog for a while, you probably know that I coach my son in soccer and that he is a pretty good player. He plays with confidence and determination. This is why he led his team last year. The mix of confidence and ability enables any player to elevate his game in any sport. This is what was happening with my son last year. It took him 3 years to know that he was able to play well. I even used his sports success to motivate him to do his homework and study in school.

 

The Obstacle

 

Over the winter, William attended two soccer camps; one in the fall and one right before the summer season. During the last one, another player told him that he wasn’t good and wasn’t even able to score. This was a typical example of how kids pick on each other all the time. At first, you can say that it’s nothing to worry about. Kids are kids and unfortunately, they pick on each other. William didn’t scored one goal during that soccer camp. I didn’t notice it at first as he was playing well anyways. When the season started, I noticed that he wasn’t as confident. He missed a few goals during the first games and then, he wasn’t able to rush on the ball as he used too.

 

Scoring a goal seemed like a lot of pressure for him all of a sudden. While he used to score three to four goals a game, the simple idea of shooting the ball at the goalie was asking too much by his coach (me!). I didn’t understand and tried to talk with him. He was playing very well on the defensive side but had no more spark during offensive play. After 6 weeks of play, I couldn’t understand as the situation wasn’t getting any better.

 

Let Go

 

I wasn’t concerned about his soccer performance but I was seriously concerned about his lack of confidence. I got scared my son would diminish his self esteem easily when facing obstacles. I had a discussion with my wife about it and she suggested letting go. It seems that talking about a problem sometimes put too much emphasis on the problem and not enough on the solutions. Since the solution for confidence has to come from inside one’s self, there was nothing much I could do.

 

This is why I almost stopped talking about soccer and even playing soccer with William at home (unless he asked). After two weeks or so, he started to play better and even scored one goal. He wasn’t at his top but he was getting better.

 

The Event

 

About a week after he scored his first goal, we went on a tournament. After the first game, we had five penalties shot. I chose William to be one of the shooters. He scored and we won the game. The next morning, we won our second game while William was the best player on the field. He then started to play at a level I had never seen until then. He was even better than last year. We won our three games during the tournament, William has gained respect from this teammates and he took the place he deserved. I don’t know if it was the tournament or the penalty but there was something during this weekend that had transformed his lack of confidence into a burst of confidence.

 

The Lesson I’ve Learned From This

 

Building trust and confidence takes several aligned successes. It’s only after hard work and several achievements that one can be confident enough that he can face anything. Then, it only requires a single obstacle to crush this confidence to zero and have to start all over again. The worst part is that obstacle can also lead to low self esteem and the process of building confidence becomes even harder.

 

I’ve lived a similar situation with my new job not so long ago where I was facing several obstacles and wasn’t getting the success I’m used too at first. The solution to get back your confidence in that kind of situation is not to pursue the problems but to find a solution. The solution is simply to let go and wait for the “event” that will bring your confidence back.

 

As weird as it may seem, once built, confidence is easily lost but easily regained too. It only needs a special event that will change your mind set and let your confidence take the place it deserves in your brain.

 

So if you ever lack in confidence regarding something, just let it go and you will become more successful 😉

 

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