Comments on: Dealing With Money And Family

By: Mama Zen

Mama Zen — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 15:23:07 +0000

Be prepared! Some chapters are kind of ”painful” to read, because you feel a bit like you’ve been betrayed by someone unattainable. Frustrating!

But (I don’t want to give you all contents!), in some ways, I feel more ”globally self-conscious”. I feel I m gaining a lot by reading this book as a consumer, as a citizen and as a human being.

By: The Financial Blogger

The Financial Blogger — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 15:27:43 +0000

@ Mama Zen,
I actually received this book at Christmas! I can’t wait to read it!

By: Mama Zen

Mama Zen — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 14:05:41 +0000

@TFB
No one is totally immune to what appears to be a great deal, no matter what your expertise is… I don’t remember where I saw it on the blogosphere, but I bouth Ellen Ruppel Shell book (Cheap: High cost of discount culture). She made a very good studies reviews about this kind of phenomenons, interviewed lot of people. Along with 4 hours week by Ferris, this book is my must read of 2010 to better understand my incomprehensible «financial reactions» since I’ve been an active consumer…

@Alain
as TFB said, why don’t you discuss this clearly with your parents in law and your wife? It might be better to do it before makin an arrangement than after (as I did). Even if you get along nicely with your in-laws, financial problems can put lot of pressure on a relationship… and imagine your wife stuck between you and her parents. A good discussion and written agreement is a must I think to avoid further problems. No one knows what’s tommorow’s gonna bring.

By: Tanya

Tanya — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 13:58:09 +0000

What happens when you are the “Dear Son/Daughter Bank”? Money may never be repaid. Could be a future discussion?

By: the financial blogger

the financial blogger — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 01:36:38 +0000

@ mama zen,
Yeah, who would think that a financial planner would fall for that kind of tricky offer?
@ Alain,
I think the key is to set the rule clearly at the beginning. It is important that my parents didn’t expect to be paid back before 2010.
Then, there are no frustrations (as long as everybody respects their engagement!)

By: Alain

Alain — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 17:07:42 +0000

Actually, I might be in this situation very soon as my parents in law have offered to loan us money for our first home. I’m still a bit unsure about it as well as all of the pros and cons.

For example, I would obviously make repaying them a priority, but I would not want to feel guilty if I’m leaving on holidays to Europe for example. So just unsure how to go about this. Any tips?

By: Pete

Pete — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 17:05:46 +0000

A few years back, when I was travelling a lot, things were a lot tighter and I was lucky enough to get loans from both my parents and best friend. Both were very very generous about it and even though they were short term loans, I think the key was that it was clear when the payments would be made back.

But yes, no doubt it can bring up tricky situations and I’ve been happy to not have to borrow money from friends & family since then.

By: Hungry Gal

Hungry Gal — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 16:15:50 +0000

Hi TFB – just found your site… good post.

Yes – family & finances don’t often mix. Things can get emotional so we took a very professional approach…

When I was starting out – I bought a condo in downtown TO – I was single then and the bank was happier if I had a co-signer. My parents offered to help me by providing me with a loan. We settled on the rate as Dr. Stock has suggested by meeting in the middle between the GIC rate & mortgage rate. We set it up a payment schedule & a promissory note to pay (which I had my lawyer do up when closing on the condo).

Several years later, when my fiance (at the time) and I bought our current home, I sold the condo – paid out the balance of the loan.

Additionally, we agreed that the loan would not be the subject of casual conversation and as long as I repay my debt per the schedule, there would be no discussions about my “other” expenditures.

By: Mama Zen

Mama Zen — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 15:47:04 +0000

@The Financial Blogger,
What a good promo! Hell I’m happy that I hadn’t got that «chance». Some days I would prefer not having to pay this amount at that pace, but overall, I do prefer it that way.

@Griff
Yeah I worked «pro bono» for (very close) friends too… without knowing that it was going to be «pro bono» I’ll never do this again, believe me.

By: The Financial Blogger

The Financial Blogger — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 10:47:01 +0000

@ No Debt Guy,
I am lucky enough to have a home equity line of credit. Therefore, it would only cost the appraisal fee (no penalty and I am not over my registered amount yet, so no legal fees)

@ One Day,
My parents actually took a mortgage on their rental property to lend me this money, this is why I am paying them back with interest.

@ Mama Zen,
Yeah, I got cut with the “don’t make a payment until 2010″ “promotion” I should have made monthly payments… things would have been much easier!