June 7, 2010, 4:15 am

Considering the Kids While Moving

by: The Financial Blogger    Category: Miscellaneous
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In less than a week, we will be moving to our new home. We are all very excited and we are currently living amongst a pile of boxes. While we are looking forward to this “new life”, half of our family are not quite sure about “making the move”. This half is obviously our two children. I remember when I was their age, my parents used to move every year or so (they were part of the first generation of house flippers). I also remember how anxious I would get every time I had to leave my room, my house, my friends…

This is exactly what my older son, William, is currently living. He realizes that he will leave the daycare soon. Therefore, he won’t be seeing his friends anymore. He will also lose another of his “good” friends, Benjamin, who lives in front of our house. Since they are their very first friends, I can understand his reluctance to move. On top of that, he is losing “his” pool too. It’s obvious to see that he was about to cry when we had our first conversation about moving

So how do you handle your children’s feelings toward moving into a new house?

I’m a very thorough parent with my children. I am not the type of dad who will say that it’s grayish when it’s dark black. I would rather tell the truth right away and deal with the consequences before it’s too late.

The very first thing we did was to discuss the matter before putting up the “for sale” sign in front of our house. We advised our children that we will sell the house and move to another city. At first, they were quite excited since they didn’t realize that they would lose a part of their life at the same time. We also advised them that they will see people walking in our house and walking into their bedrooms. Just so they know about the whole process.

The second thing we did was to talk about the “after sale”. Where are we going to live? So we took them a few times with us over to the neighborhood that we were looking into. We showed them the advantages (we are living close to a mountain so we can ski, we have a zoo and we will have a much bigger land). We also showed that most of the things we had in our city (their activities, the libraries, parks, etc.) were also available in other cities too.

Then, we also visited a few properties with them. While it made our lives much harder to concentrate on the houses while watching our kids, we felt it was important for them to see that were visiting several houses before making our decision. We also took special attention to know what they liked and what they didn’t like in each home.

The final step was last week when we spent the morning at William’s future school. We visited the school together and he spent about an hour and a half with his future teachers. The school had organized this day for all the parents and children starting school this fall.

Overall, I think we did a great job but we keep talking about the new house and the moving so they are prepared next week for the big move. We make sure they use their voices to express their feelings but we also let them know that we are moving nonetheless.

It’s a bit heart-breaking but I think I will survive 😉

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Comments

by: 2Hirondelles | June 7th, 2010 (7:36 am)

Much better than the way my parents handled one intended move when I was 11: I was at the park and one of my friends rolled up on his bike and asked “So you guys are moving?” I told him no. “Well, your house is up for sale” “It is not.” “It is, there’s a sign up.”

I rushed home to find out he was right. Turns out my mother was having a mid-life crisis, and ultimately the move never happened. But talk about cruel and unusual…

True story.

@ 2 Hirondelles,

We are only trying to do our best. We will see how it goes with the kids!

That is probably the worst way to announce your kid that you are moving… ouch! and you never moved on top of that? that is crazy…

I like how you are keeping the kids in the loop!

We’ll be moving in about a month or less. For our oldest it means moving to a new school. But we are in an apartment right now so the kids are excited to have a house with bigger rooms, a backyard, and a basement.

We also told our oldest she will keep in touch with her friends and could have them over once we are settled in.

by: The Financial Blogger | June 7th, 2010 (1:40 pm)

@ Craig,
we are moving this year especially since my oldest one will start school this autumn. So we are avoiding the “new school” syndrom 😉

good luck wiht your new house!

Interesting post yes. No kids yet but I would also think that having honest talks is the best way to go about it.

When I was younger, I was actually asked my opinion about moving or not. I remember it and of course was directed towards liking one option over another but it still gave me the “feeling” that I had control over the situation

Just curious…what they did they like and not like in houses you visited?:)

by: The Financial Blogger | June 7th, 2010 (2:51 pm)

@BMSP,

They were sometimes afraid by the basements when they were not finished!

They also liked when they had big bedrooms or finished playrooms… you can see where their interests are 😉

Aweee, well, I’m sure your kids will love the new place very soon!

It’s nice that your kids aren’t too old yet, I think when they are school age (like between 8-12 or something like that) it gets a little harder cus they’ve made their friends already. =)

Sounds like you’re doing a great job being a parent- honesty is key with kids. =)

Admirable, I have to say you are doing it right! Children certainly should be informed about the move, it is a big step in their life, too. I have experienced and heard about moving with not really letting the kids know about the situation and it never worked out well. Even though they are young, children do have their own thoughts and feelings and have to cope with the move themselves.

Hey Elli,

The moving now over!
We asked our children if they wanted to go back to our previous home and they both said no and that they prefer the new house. Phew! we made it and everybody is happy!